The Dialogue re: Straight As in the San Marino Community Continues! =D

As a mental health advocate, I was happy to receive this below email from the San Marino Unified School District. In response, I wrote this email to important members related to San Marino community & San Gabriel Valley. 

Dear Valued Community Members, 

I was pleased to see this afternoon the below email from Partnership for Awareness fall in my inbox today. As a student who grew up in the San Marino Unified School District & mental health advocate, my heart is happy to hear that this event is happening. :) 

Please find the below invitation for speaking engagement by Dr. Rocco Cheng of Pacific Clinics. He will speak to members of the San Marino community re: "Your Straight A Child: The Foundations & Cost of Success" at the Chinese Club of San Marino, located at 2425 Huntington Dr., San Marino, CA 91108. The event will begin at 7pm. 

Back in Feb 2010, I was honored to have the opportunity to do a talk with the PTA San Marino Chinese Club to address the generation gap (between 1st & 2nd generation in Asian immigrant families)" & speak on my personal experiences of what it was like to be a product of the SMUSD. See below for the prior info from my talk from 2010. I would not have been able to hold that talk without the help of Lindsey Huang, Zehra Sun, Linda Sun, & Liz Kneier. So knowing that this event is happening is like a continued dialogue but this time with a mental health expert. 

I hope Dr. Rocco Cheng's speaking engagement will help to provide better understanding for the San Marino community (parents & school administrators) to know the signs in our SMUSD students indicating any mental health issues. The better we are all educated in mental health matters, the more we can do a better service for our youth & alleviate the stigma on mental health issues.

Thank you Dr. Rocco Cheng ahead of time for coming out to San Marino this Thursday evening! :)

Thank you Partnership for Awareness for scheduling this event on such an important subject for our SMUSD students. 

I'm very grateful that this dialogue is happening again in San Marino.  

Emily Wu Truong (吳怡萱) 

Community Activist for Mental Health Awareness 

ABOUT ME: http://about.me/luvmily

BLOGGER: http://mlewu.blogspot.com/

FACEBOOK:https://www.facebook.com/MLEWu

YOUTUBE: http://youtube.com/luvpegasus

LINKEDIN:http://www.linkedin.com/in/missemilywu

TWITTER: http://twitter.com/emilywspeaks

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Emily’s Former Biography from Feb 2010

Emily Wu (吳怡萱)  is an alumna of the San Marino School District having gone from K.L Carver School to Huntington School, and then San Marino High School.  At U.C. Irvine, Emily studied Psychology & Social Behavior with a minor in Education.  Life has taken Emily through many circumstances which have led her to become an optimistic and passionate individual. While determining which occupational direction to take in life, Emily considered becoming a public school teacher and then a marriage & family therapist.  However, she saw a need for a greater societal changes to create a more peaceful and functioning society. This was when Emily decided to work towards becoming a motivational speaker, and she dreams of becoming the Asian American version of Oprah Winfrey, a talk show host in the English-speaking mainstream media. 

Brief Synopsis of Emily’s Speech

Addressing the Generation Disconnect By Emily Wu (吳怡萱)

Are you a parent who stresses the importance of education & straight As to your children?  Do you have children who don't seem to listen to you when you tell them what to do?  Is it difficult for you to communicate your values to your children?  If you find yourself saying "Yes" to any of these questions, you may be involved in "the generation disconnect" with your kids.  

I

At the next PTA seminar, Emily Wu, an alumna of the San Marino School District, will come to share her personal experiences & struggles of what it was like to grow up in the SMUSD.  Emily will address common issues among Asian families, share her personal struggles having grown up in an Asian family, and discuss possible solutions that can help you build a better relationship with your child.  

Happy Birthday, Ahma!

Today, I remember my Grandma (Spoken as "Ahma" in Taiwanese) in honor of her birthday today April 12th. My Grandpa's birthday was also recent on March 25. Among them both, I had closer relations with my Ahma. 

Among relatives, she was the 1st one close to my heart to pass away. I still remember the last night I stayed with her in the Alhambra Hospital, & a few days later, she passed away. However, she never truly died. Her loving spirit still lives within me.

I love you, Ahma. I hope I've made you proud. I know I'm proud of me, & I'm proud of you. You gave birth to my wonderful mother, who gave birth to me!

While I was growing up, you showed me SO much love and told me how precious I was. Thank you for being a part of my life, Ahma!

Happy Birthday!  

生日快樂！

誕生日おめでとう！

Love from your Granddaughter, 

Emily 吳怡萱

Racial Stereotypes: To Continue or Break them?

Thank you, Larry Shinagawa, Associate Professor of American Studies and the Director of the Asian American Studies Program at the University of Maryland, for your inspiration for this blog entry! You have inspired me to blog many of my recent thoughts out today! ;) 

So (to readers) Larry openly asked on Facebook about others' opinions on whether there is a war between Latinos and Asians based on this article from Voxxi.com, The Undeclared Political War Between Latinos and Asians. 

This has been an interesting topic for me in the last few months especially with the whole controversial subject surrounding affirmative action and the SCA5 proposed by the Senator of my district, Dr. Ed Hernandez. 

Is there an undeclared political war between Latinos and Asians?  In my opinion, there is NO war NOR competition. 

I believe each racial group needs to change their culture in order to break down the stereotypes and racial profiling that happens in our society. Each culture has its own strengths and weaknesses. If the Hispanics and the African Americans want to prioritize institutionalized education to help their children get ahead in life, their elders and leaders need to serve as role models inspiring the younger generation to WANT to go get that higher education. They need to take a GOOD look at their values to figure out what they need to change about themselves for a better life and to create a more positive image for their racial group.

In the last several years, while attending many events related to the Taiwanese American, Chinese American, and general Asian Pacific American communities, I have had conversations with others regarding race/ethnic groups, and this is what I have to say... 

• Yes, it is unfortunate that Asian Americans sometimes are made fun of in the mainstream media, that is why it is good that we have groups like Racebending.com, Media Action Network for Asian Americans (MANAA), and Angry Asian Man to keep the media accountable and catch moments when they find Asians/Asian Americans being disrespected on national television and on TV shows.  
• Yes, it is unfortunate that the U.S. mainstream media does not highlight or cast enough nor provide accurate representation of Asian/Asian American role models for our youth besides Bruce Lee, and other martial artists. 
• Yes, it is unfortunate that Asians/Asian Americans are stereotyped to fit the model minority myth that provides the general public that ALL Asians/Asian Americans were/are straight A students and high-achieving who will become wealthy doctors or lawyers. 

But you know what? Even though this model minority myth exists and somewhat rings true to certain individuals, I know for myself that it does not describe me. Although I tell others that I am Taiwanese American and Asian American, I know there is NO way that I can represent an entire race. Why? Because I am my OWN individual with my OWN values. Not everyone in my race/ethnic group shares the same values I do. Not everyone operates the same way I do. Being a 2nd generation Taiwanese American, I hold in my heart a mixture of Asian values and American values. As you can see, I am a very outspoken individual who is not afraid to speak to my thoughts, whereas most Asian Americans are not as vocal in fear they will lose face and become ostracized by their so-called friends and family.

To me, living in fear of others not liking you is a mental prison of low self-esteem, and I was in that prison WAY TOO LONG. That prison was mental darkness for me, living in a bird cage where I only hoped to one day escape. Unfortunately, when I tried to get out, I felt like I had no wings because I had no self-confidence. However, slowly but surely over the last 10 years since college, I have picked myself up one day at a time, and everyday I get myself through is an achievement in itself. =) 

Although my Asians and Asian American brothers and sisters may disagree with my way of thinking, I know they are talented in their own ways; however, it seems that traditional Asians place TOO much value on institutionalized education.  Because of that, it seems that they will determine a person's worth or how much respect that person should get based on (1) how far one got in education, (2) whether or not an individual has a Masters/PhD or not, or/and (3) what salary the person earns. Our Asian elders have taught us to be book smart, to study hard, & just study study study! Some people go get higher degrees, but they don't mature. Instead, they become more EGOTISTICAL because they think their education, salary, and job title make them elite and superior over others! But that is what I call INSECURITY.  

I strongly dislike when traditional elders are so incredibly negative towards our younger generation. They subject the younger generation to an emotional abuse which does not foster a loving relationship.  They compare their kids to others' people's kids, constantly criticize and accentuate their child's weaknesses, and overlook a their strengths, and judge them by their salary, job title, and education level. To only judge them, it's SO superficial, but I understand this can happen within ANY racial group! So NO racial group is better than any other! I would beg to differ with Amy Chua.

I myself have no higher degree passed my Bachelors in Psychology and Social Behavior with a Minor in Education from UC Irvine over 10 years ago, but I know for myself that I have become wise for my age, and my EQ is high. I struggled with depression because I did not feel like I was intelligent enough for my Asian community. I felt that I could not compare to others. However, now that I can found my self-worth, I KNOW that I touch hearts. I KNOW I touch lives. I KNOW I have SO MUCH to offer this world that does not know UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, COMPASSION, INTERNAL VALIDATION, MENTAL LIBERATION, PEACE OF MIND like I know. 

When I told a group of Asian parents that I am an aspiring motivational speaker, a Taiwanese father asked me, "What gives you the credentials to be one?" I said, "Life experience." 

Through my life experiences, I believe our world does not have enough LOVE, and THAT is why our world suffers so much. We wallow in our sorrows, in self-pity and become internally depressed and self-critical that we become stuck in the past about our past mistakes/traumatic moments.  We don't embrace life as it comes to us when we should appreciate it! Our older generation needs to start showing more support for the younger generation instead of putting them down! 

As Yehuda Berg said, "Love is the weapon of the future." We NEED to build a young generation of RESILIENCE and DETERMINATION to understand MENTAL HEALTH matters and COPING SKILLS! To not make them judge and put others down because all that is... is INSECURITY! We need to teach our children HEALTHY self-esteem - NOT bullying!! "Strong people uplift each other" is a saying that I used to hear. Encouragement and positive support will help the young generation to believe in themselves. They need not to compare themselves to others. An person only need to compare him/herself to him/herself. Your only competition is the one you see in the mirror. Be a BETTER YOU today than you were yesterday!  But these are not the consistent messages that we deliver to our young generation today. We need to tell them that as long as they are doing their BEST, that is all that matters. Like I said before.. We are ALL works in progress! 

So when can we stop being judged by the color of our skin? When will we become color-blind?  As Martin Luther King Jr. said... 

CONTENT OF CHARACTER! Now THAT is important! I judge a leader by the CONTENT of their CHARACTER! That's how I vote for my leaders and U.S. Representatives! Do they put they truly care about their constituents, or do they only care about the individuals who contribute to their fundraisers and how much money they're earning? Anyhow, although there is not much Asian representation in U.S. politics, I do not let race be a determinating factor as to who I vote for. I vote for the person whom I think will carry out leadership roles best, who will be a part of the solutions to our community's issues and promote GOOD values similar to mine to BETTER our community. 

EVERY individual NO MATTER which race they come from has his/her strength and weaknesses! If we could become color-blind, each of us is a part of the SAME human race ALL living under the SAME sun, moon, and stars!! We are in this life TOGETHER to make the future for our next generation BETTER! So it's time to live in HARMONY and teach our children good values for the sake and betterment of our society and future generations who will live on the earth after we pass away!  

 

  

My Journey in Finding my Self Worth & Meaning In Life

March 3rd is  National I Want You to be Happy Day.  - See more at: http://www.faithvillage.com/blogpost/e3cf48e430074173bbc64f3769e8244c/national_i_want_you_to_be_happy_day#sthash.2OEOHayq.dpuf

Last week on March 27, 2014, I had the honor of serving as the Master of Ceremonies and a Panel Speaker as a Mental Health Consumer for the Asian Coalition. The experience was extremely rewarding because I calmed my fears and got myself through the day without panicking! Haha! Getting up in front of many strangers used to be a frightening experience for me, but because I've been determined to confront my fears, I am making myself work on my public speaking skills! And so far, so good! =)


I can't tell you how much I appreciate the Asian Coalition though.  Luna Lu was the one who first introduced this group to me.  I met Luna through the NAMI, San Gabriel Valley (National Alliance for Mental Illness) when I was attending mental health educational seminars called "How to Survive & Thrive w/a Mentally Ill Relative" led by Dr. Michael DiPaulo. Anyhow, through Luna, I was able to make my first trip over to the headquarters of the LA County Department of Mental Health (LACDMH) on Vermont & 6th Street. 


And so my journey with the LACDMH began in October 2013 when I first met the Asian Coalition at the Empowerment and Advocacy Department. I see the Asian Coalition as a committee, resource and support group, & association of mental health consumers supported by the LACDMH. I can't thank them enough for allowing me the opportunity to get up in front of an audience to share my personal story growing up with low self-esteem to finally gaining awareness to understand myself as someone who IS worthy.

Many of you do not know, but I used to tell my local community that I dream of becoming an Asian American version of Oprah Winfrey. I used to say that I hope I can become an Asian American version of Dr. Drew or even Anthony Robbins! All in all though, I want to be someone who can inspire others to change their lives for the better. I want to be a motivational speaker who is able to touch others' hearts so they can heal and examine their own lives to bring more patience and unconditional love into the world towards themselves and for the sake of our community.  I want to be a role model and mentor for the young generation because when they are confronted with their own problems, they are not taught coping skills to figure out how to deal with their emotions of depression, frustration, and anger. 

Our society is lacking in mentors and role models for the young generation to look up to. Our adults are taught to stay busy, go on automatic mode, do what you're supposed to do, but what is the meaning of all of the work if you don't think about WHY you do what you do? Our society needs to think about the PURPOSE of your actions. Stop & THINK about why you motivate yourselves to do what you do. What are your values? What do you want to be known for when you pass? HOW do you want to be remembered? I understand that everyone is so busy trying to make a life for themselves, but what good is money if you don't have a true friend or feel like you make any
difference in the world? 

Honestly, I don't have a paid job, BUT I DO have jobs although they are non-paid, & they ARE meaningful. While I was growing up, I thought that in order to be SOMEBODY, I had to find a full-time job, a good decent salary, & have gone through high education to get that masters or Ph.D. I literally thought I was a nobody. I didn't see my self-worth for myself. But over time, as I started to examine my thoughts and values, I started to understand what my true values were. I started to be more patient with myself. I started to realize that I was my own worst enemy for such a long LONG time. Oh - what a journey this life has been in trying to figure out what the meaning of life is for myself, and part of that is KNOWING your worth regardless of your level of education, salary amount, or job title.  I now KNOW my worth, and THAT is why I would NOT commit suicide. Each day I live I grow older and am alive IS a PRIVILEGE.

Although I do not have a job yet, I know I make a difference nonetheless. I have many functions. I am a community volunteer, resourceful classmate, wife, good friend to others, a voice for the voiceless, a mentor/role model for those who are dealing with mental health issues, and who knows... I might even be an amateur volunteer entertainer for some future community events! (I love singing & dancing!) But all in all, I know I have many functions & purpose each and everyday. I know I make a difference, & I have purpose. =)

And so I believe I've finally found my calling in life. The call that makes me happy because it is a field where I can utilize my skills of emotional intelligence and empathy towards others.  I can already envision myself leading seminars on how to have a HEALTHY self esteem, and to helping others to develop coping skills and rewire thought patterns for internal validation and unconditional love for themselves.  By developing unconditional love and forgiveness towards oneself and for others, THAT is when the HEALING begins. Where there is internal healing, there is MENTAL LIBERATION and FREEDOM!

After approaching many community members, I have been told that I have a LOT to offer (which I take as an awesome compliment), and all I want to do is be a PART of the solutions to our society's issues because I sincerely care about my community. Why? Because Each Mind Matters - that is the name of our California Mental Health Movement. So I will keep on trying to alleviate the stigma on mental health issues & continue to preach everyday that Mental Health Matters because it affects EVERYONE!  I am a voice FOR the Mental Health Movement, and I will make my voice heard as long as stigma continues to exist! Some may not listen to me (like my high school alma mater) & may even keep the stigma alive, but I KNOW I have an audience, even if they are the ones suffering in silence!

We all struggle in life. We each have our strengths and weaknesses, & of course our weaknesses will make us feel depressed because they make us feel inadequate, vulnerable, and incapable. However, when you confront those feelings of weakness and fear, don't turn away. Don't escape. Face them. Examine them. Work on them. Dismantle your triggers. Turn them into OPPORTUNITIES to IMPROVE yourself. Your past mistakes may make you who you are today, but they don't need to define you. Forgive yourself for the sake of your own mental health. Practice unconditional love and internal validation. Be your own parent. Be your own best friend. Validate YOU. You can do it. I believe in you, so believe in yourself. =)

Haha. I think I've written enough for today. I hope you like what I had to say. =) Take care of yourself, & have a WONDERFUL week! =D

A day for to encourage each other, to avoid selfishness, and do something to make other people happy.
A good place to start . . . ask people how they’re doing, stop to look in their eyes, and wait for an answer. Listen. Really listen. Make a deliberate effort to avoid fly by conversations.
Next . . . share more smiles, compliments, and laughter. That will not only make the people around you happy it will make you happy too.
Finally . . . challenge your children to go out of their way to make each other happy. A no bickering day . . . for parents that sounds like a day designed in heaven. Woohoo!
I Want You to be Happy Quotes
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” ~ Mark Twain
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein
“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15
So, let me ask you again. How are you? 
I really want to know. I’m listening. What makes you happy?
And just to add a little laughter to your day, because I want you to be happy; here’s a funny video Rev shared with me – The Manslater.
How will you make someone happy today? - See more at: http://www.faithvillage.com/blogpost/e3cf48e430074173bbc64f3769e8244c/national_i_want_you_to_be_happy_day#sthash.zM9uAzP7.dpuf

A day for to encourage each other, to avoid selfishness, and do something to make other people happy.
A good place to start . . . ask people how they’re doing, stop to look in their eyes, and wait for an answer. Listen. Really listen. Make a deliberate effort to avoid fly by conversations.
Next . . . share more smiles, compliments, and laughter. That will not only make the people around you happy it will make you happy too.
Finally . . . challenge your children to go out of their way to make each other happy. A no bickering day . . . for parents that sounds like a day designed in heaven. Woohoo!
I Want You to be Happy Quotes
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” ~ Mark Twain
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein
“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15
So, let me ask you again. How are you? 
I really want to know. I’m listening. What makes you happy?
And just to add a little laughter to your day, because I want you to be happy; here’s a funny video Rev shared with me – The Manslater.
How will you make someone happy today? - See more at: http://www.faithvillage.com/blogpost/e3cf48e430074173bbc64f3769e8244c/national_i_want_you_to_be_happy_day#sthash.zM9uAzP7.dpuf

A day for to encourage each other, to avoid selfishness, and do something to make other people happy.
A good place to start . . . ask people how they’re doing, stop to look in their eyes, and wait for an answer. Listen. Really listen. Make a deliberate effort to avoid fly by conversations.
Next . . . share more smiles, compliments, and laughter. That will not only make the people around you happy it will make you happy too.
Finally . . . challenge your children to go out of their way to make each other happy. A no bickering day . . . for parents that sounds like a day designed in heaven. Woohoo!
I Want You to be Happy Quotes
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” ~ Mark Twain
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein
“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15
So, let me ask you again. How are you? 
I really want to know. I’m listening. What makes you happy?
And just to add a little laughter to your day, because I want you to be happy; here’s a funny video Rev shared with me – The Manslater.
How will you make someone happy today? - See more at: http://www.faithvillage.com/blogpost/e3cf48e430074173bbc64f3769e8244c/national_i_want_you_to_be_happy_day#sthash.zM9uAzP7.dpuf