|Comic by Beth Evans|
To give you a background about myself, I longed for deep heart-to-heart connections since childhood. I yearned for intimate relationships, especially with family. I longed to be understood, but often felt misunderstood. When I didn't know how to articulate myself, I wished others would have more patience with me.
|Flipper, the Dolphin|
|"The Potato Eaters" by Van Gogh|
Year after year, the holiday season served as a time reminding me how my ideals never matched up to how I wanted reality to be. After graduating from college and moving back home with my parents, the holidays were a miserable time of reflection. I felt like I had nothing to show for. I had no full time job. My relationships with family members were rocky. I didn’t feel proud of myself, and so I most of the time isolated myself until I suddenly had spurts of self-confidence in 2009 and 2013.
So in these last few years, I've learned how to cope with circumstances that were beyond my control. I found Recovery International self-help support groups, and I've learned these tools when when I am experiencing trivialities in life.
- If you can't change the situation, change your attitude towards it.
- Endorse yourself for the effort, not only for the performance.
- Symptoms are distressing but not dangerous.
- Self-appointed expectations lead to self-appointed frustrations.
- Lower your expectations, and your performance will rise.
- Temper is an intellectual blindness to the other side of the story.
- Perfection is a hope, dream, & illusion.
- Trivialities are the everyday events & irritations of daily life. Compared to our mental health, most events are trivial.
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." ~ Frederick Keonig