Thursday, April 3, 2014

My Journey in Finding my Self Worth & Meaning In Life

Last week on March 27, 2014, I had the honor of serving as the Master of Ceremonies and a Panel Speaker as a Mental Health Consumer for the Asian Coalition. The experience was extremely rewarding because I calmed my fears and got myself through the day without panicking! Haha! Getting up in front of many strangers used to be a frightening experience for me, but because I've been determined to confront my fears, I am making myself work on my public speaking skills! And so far, so good! =)


I can't tell you how much I appreciate the Asian Coalition though.  Luna Lu was the one who first introduced this group to me.  I met Luna through the NAMI, San Gabriel Valley (National Alliance for Mental Illness) when I was attending mental health educational seminars called "How to Survive & Thrive w/a Mentally Ill Relative" led by Dr. Michael DiPaulo. Anyhow, through Luna, I was able to make my first trip over to the headquarters of the LA County Department of Mental Health (LACDMH) on Vermont & 6th Street


And so my journey with the LACDMH began in October 2013 when I first met the Asian Coalition at the Empowerment and Advocacy Department. I see the Asian Coalition as a committee, resource and support group, & association of mental health consumers supported by the LACDMH. I can't thank them enough for allowing me the opportunity to get up in front of an audience to share my personal story growing up with low self-esteem to finally gaining awareness to understand myself as someone who IS worthy.

Many of you do not know, but I used to tell my local community that I dream of becoming an Asian American version of Oprah Winfrey. I used to say that I hope I can become an Asian American version of Dr. Drew or even Anthony Robbins! All in all though, I want to be someone who can inspire others to change their lives for the better. I want to be a motivational speaker who is able to touch others' hearts so they can heal and examine their own lives to bring more patience and unconditional love into the world towards themselves and for the sake of our community.  I want to be a role model and mentor for the young generation because when they are confronted with their own problems, they are not taught coping skills to figure out how to deal with their emotions of depression, frustration, and anger. 

Our society is lacking in mentors and role models for the young generation to look up to. Our adults are taught to stay busy, go on automatic mode, do what you're supposed to do, but what is the meaning of all of the work if you don't think about WHY you do what you do? Our society needs to think about the PURPOSE of your actions. Stop & THINK about why you motivate yourselves to do what you do. What are your values? What do you want to be known for when you pass? HOW do you want to be remembered? I understand that everyone is so busy trying to make a life for themselves, but what good is money if you don't have a true friend or feel like you make any
difference in the world? 

Honestly, I don't have a paid job, BUT I DO have jobs although they are non-paid, & they ARE meaningful. While I was growing up, I thought that in order to be SOMEBODY, I had to find a full-time job, a good decent salary, & have gone through high education to get that masters or Ph.D. I literally thought I was a nobody. I didn't see my self-worth for myself. But over time, as I started to examine my thoughts and values, I started to understand what my true values were. I started to be more patient with myself. I started to realize that I was my own worst enemy for such a long LONG time. Oh - what a journey this life has been in trying to figure out what the meaning of life is for myself, and part of that is KNOWING your worth regardless of your level of education, salary amount, or job title.  I now KNOW my worth, and THAT is why I would NOT commit suicide. Each day I live I grow older and am alive IS a PRIVILEGE.

Although I do not have a job yet, I know I make a difference nonetheless. I have many functions. I am a community volunteer, resourceful classmate, wife, good friend to others, a voice for the voiceless, a mentor/role model for those who are dealing with mental health issues, and who knows... I might even be an amateur volunteer entertainer for some future community events! (I love singing & dancing!) But all in all, I know I have many functions & purpose each and everyday. I know I make a difference, & I have purpose. =)

And so I believe I've finally found my calling in life. The call that makes me happy because it is a field where I can utilize my skills of emotional intelligence and empathy towards others.  I can already envision myself leading seminars on how to have a HEALTHY self esteem, and to helping others to develop coping skills and rewire thought patterns for internal validation and unconditional love for themselves.  By developing unconditional love and forgiveness towards oneself and for others, THAT is when the HEALING begins. Where there is internal healing, there is MENTAL LIBERATION and FREEDOM!

After approaching many community members, I have been told that I have a LOT to offer (which I take as an awesome compliment), and all I want to do is be a PART of the solutions to our society's issues because I sincerely care about my community. Why? Because Each Mind Matters - that is the name of our California Mental Health Movement. So I will keep on trying to alleviate the stigma on mental health issues & continue to preach everyday that Mental Health Matters because it affects EVERYONE!  I am a voice FOR the Mental Health Movement, and I will make my voice heard as long as stigma continues to exist! Some may not listen to me (like my high school alma mater) & may even keep the stigma alive, but I KNOW I have an audience, even if they are the ones suffering in silence!

We all struggle in life. We each have our strengths and weaknesses, & of course our weaknesses will make us feel depressed because they make us feel inadequate, vulnerable, and incapable. However, when you confront those feelings of weakness and fear, don't turn away. Don't escape. Face them. Examine them. Work on them. Dismantle your triggers. Turn them into OPPORTUNITIES to IMPROVE yourself. Your past mistakes may make you who you are today, but they don't need to define you. Forgive yourself for the sake of your own mental health. Practice unconditional love and internal validation. Be your own parent. Be your own best friend. Validate YOU. You can do it. I believe in you, so believe in yourself. =)

Haha. I think I've written enough for today. I hope you like what I had to say. =) Take care of yourself, & have a WONDERFUL week! =D
A day for to encourage each other, to avoid selfishness, and do something to make other people happy.
A good place to start . . . ask people how they’re doing, stop to look in their eyes, and wait for an answer. Listen. Really listen. Make a deliberate effort to avoid fly by conversations.
Next . . . share more smiles, compliments, and laughter. That will not only make the people around you happy it will make you happy too.
Finally . . . challenge your children to go out of their way to make each other happy. A no bickering day . . . for parents that sounds like a day designed in heaven. Woohoo!
I Want You to be Happy Quotes
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” ~ Mark Twain
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein
“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15
So, let me ask you again. How are you? 
I really want to know. I’m listening. What makes you happy?
And just to add a little laughter to your day, because I want you to be happy; here’s a funny video Rev shared with me – The Manslater.
How will you make someone happy today? - See more at: http://www.faithvillage.com/blogpost/e3cf48e430074173bbc64f3769e8244c/national_i_want_you_to_be_happy_day#sthash.zM9uAzP7.dpuf
A day for to encourage each other, to avoid selfishness, and do something to make other people happy.
A good place to start . . . ask people how they’re doing, stop to look in their eyes, and wait for an answer. Listen. Really listen. Make a deliberate effort to avoid fly by conversations.
Next . . . share more smiles, compliments, and laughter. That will not only make the people around you happy it will make you happy too.
Finally . . . challenge your children to go out of their way to make each other happy. A no bickering day . . . for parents that sounds like a day designed in heaven. Woohoo!
I Want You to be Happy Quotes
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” ~ Mark Twain
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein
“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15
So, let me ask you again. How are you? 
I really want to know. I’m listening. What makes you happy?
And just to add a little laughter to your day, because I want you to be happy; here’s a funny video Rev shared with me – The Manslater.
How will you make someone happy today? - See more at: http://www.faithvillage.com/blogpost/e3cf48e430074173bbc64f3769e8244c/national_i_want_you_to_be_happy_day#sthash.zM9uAzP7.dpuf
A day for to encourage each other, to avoid selfishness, and do something to make other people happy.
A good place to start . . . ask people how they’re doing, stop to look in their eyes, and wait for an answer. Listen. Really listen. Make a deliberate effort to avoid fly by conversations.
Next . . . share more smiles, compliments, and laughter. That will not only make the people around you happy it will make you happy too.
Finally . . . challenge your children to go out of their way to make each other happy. A no bickering day . . . for parents that sounds like a day designed in heaven. Woohoo!
I Want You to be Happy Quotes
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” ~ Mark Twain
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein
“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15
So, let me ask you again. How are you? 
I really want to know. I’m listening. What makes you happy?
And just to add a little laughter to your day, because I want you to be happy; here’s a funny video Rev shared with me – The Manslater.
How will you make someone happy today? - See more at: http://www.faithvillage.com/blogpost/e3cf48e430074173bbc64f3769e8244c/national_i_want_you_to_be_happy_day#sthash.zM9uAzP7.dpuf

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